Ik ben op mijn derde naar Iran gegaan, samen met buren van mijn ouders nadat ik alleen was achtergebleven. Zij waren vanaf toen mijn enige ´familie´: mijn pleegouders met hun vijf zoons en twee dochters. We woonden in een klein dorp, niet ver van Teheran. Tot mijn zevende ben ik gewoon thuis geweest, daarna mocht ik naar school. Toen ik tien werd moest ik gaan werken, geld binnenbrengen voor het gezin. Een oudere broer had een baantje voor me gevonden in een fabriek. Die stond in een afgelegen gebied zo groot als Maastricht, omringd door andere fabrieken. Vele wanhopigen hebben zich daar voor de trein op het spoor gegooid dat door dit desolate en deprimerende industrieterrein loopt. Daar heb ik meer dan vijf jaar gewerkt.
Als illegale Afghaanse vluchteling in Iran loop je niet gerust op straat. Als je wordt opgepakt door de politie, ga je de gevangenis in. Zonder geld om je uit te kopen, blijf je er jarenlang zitten, word je naar Afghanistan teruggestuurd, of moet je het Iraanse leger in en sturen ze je naar Syrië om te vechten. Het is mij niet overkomen, maar eigenlijk was mijn leven in de fabriek ook een gevangenis. Ik was er vaak dag en nacht, maakte dagen van 15-16 uur. Als collega´s hun werk niet afkregen, moest ik het afmaken. Aan het eind van de maand kwam een oudere broer het loon ophalen dat ik had verdiend, en nam het mee naar huis. Soms had hij wat te eten en drinken voor me bij zich, soms ook niet. Mijn baas was een Iraniër, hij was een goede man, van hem kreeg ik te eten en drinken als ik niets had.
In de fabriek moest ik medisch kunststofafval scheiden. Het was smerig, ongezond werk. Het gescheiden plastic werd gerecycled, er werden schoenzolen van gemaakt. Op een dag gebeurde er iets ergs. Daar wil ik niet over praten, het is te pijnlijk. Mijn pleegvader wilde me toen terugsturen naar Afghanistan, maar daar heeft mijn pleegmoeder zich tegen verzet. Zij heeft een mensensmokkelaar betaald om mij, samen met jongste zoon, naar Europa te brengen. Dat is het mooiste wat ze ooit voor mij heeft gedaan.
Met elf mensen zaten we in een auto die ons naar de grens met Turkije bracht. De grenscontroles waren er streng. We werden over twee groepen verdeeld, zodat de kans groter was dat we het allemaal haalden. Mijn jongere broer zat in de andere groep, we hadden er niets over te zeggen. We zijn te voet de bergen over gegaan. Aan de andere kant van de grens wilde ik op zijn groepje wachten, maar dat was te gevaarlijk, we moesten door. Ze zijn vlak achter ons, werd ons steeds verteld.
Op weg naar Griekenland zijn we met 18 man in een rubberbootje van drie meter bijna verdronken, de boot raakte lek. We hadden geluk dat we door een andere overvolle boot werden opgepikt en gered. Begin november 2015 ben ik in Nederland aangekomen.
In azc Budel kocht ik een mobieltje en stuurde ik een bericht naar een vriend in de fabriek, met de vraag contact op te nemen met mijn pleegmoeder. Zo kwam ik erachter dat het groepje van mijn broer er niet in was geslaagd de grens naar Turkije over te steken. Hij was naar huis teruggegaan. Ik heb het Rode Kruis gevraagd of ze hem hier konden halen, maar ze konden niets doen zolang hij niet Europa was. Ook de IND heb ik gevraagd of gezinshereniging mogelijk was. Daar heb ik nooit meer iets over gehoord. Een paar maanden na zijn terugkeer is mijn broer opgepakt. Hij moest het leger in, vechten in Syrië. Ik weet niet of hij nog leeft.
Deze week word ik 18. Dan moet ik verhuizen, naar een azc in Utrecht. Ik woon een jaar in Maastricht, op een afdeling met andere minderjarige jongeren. Ik mocht naar school zolang ik minderjarig was. Dat houdt nu op, net als mijn leven in Maastricht, met de vrienden die ik hier heb gemaakt. Ik weet niet wat er met mij gaat gebeuren. Ze willen me terugsturen naar Afghanistan. Maar wat moet ik daar, ik ken er niemand, heb er geen familie. Ik kan toch weer naar Iran gaan, zeggen ze, daar in een stad gaan wonen en werk zoeken. Weer vluchten, weer illegaal.
Eerst waren we blij, mijn vrienden en ik. We waren in Europa, we waren vrij en keken uit naar een mooie toekomst. Maar na maandenlange onzekerheid hebben we allemaal negatief gekregen, de een na de ander. Het is om gek van te worden, het heeft ons helemaal kapot gemaakt. Mensen beseffen niet wat ze met je doen. Wat staat mij en mijn vrienden te wachten? We willen alleen maar een rustig leven, uit de schaduw van een illegaal bestaan.
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